No one is perfect and you are never going to be perfect. There is a difference between wanting to do your best and to achieve good things than being a perfectionist. Both kinds of people want to be successful, but a high achiever will do their best, and a perfectionist is afraid of not doing their best and afraid of failing.
Here is what it means to be a perfectionist:
- You have low self-esteem, and you don’t enjoy life or have peace because you are afraid you aren’t good enough and people will judge you.
- This can be linked to mental health issues like stress, anxiety, and OCD.
- Those that are perfectionists will put standards that they cannot meet, and they are critical of themselves even when they do good but mostly when they don’t meet the standards.
- They fear if they don’t be perfect that they will never reach their goals.
- They fear failure so much that sometimes they refuse to do something, or they are late doing something because they are afraid of not being perfect at it.
- They harm other people by setting unrealistic expectations for those around them like they set for themselves.
Stop Being a Perfectionist!
There are things that you can do to stop trying to be a perfectionist. Here are some of those ways!
- Be Mindful
You need to be mindful of your thoughts and your actions. When you are thinking about doing something perfect, be mindful of the thought and see why these thoughts came. Try journaling these thoughts so that you can try and understand them. Once you are aware that you are being like this you can change your self-talk.
- Be Positive
Learn to be positive and to focus on good things. Being perfect means that you are focusing on the negative things in your life, and you are trying to change these things. Learn to think about the good things and if you aren’t satisfied with yourself, find, and write down three things that you like about yourself and you think you are good at.
- Allow Room for Error
We all make mistakes, and it doesn’t mean you’re a failure when you do. Mistakes help you to grow and help you to make better choices. Instead of trying to be perfect, focus on what you can do to get better at what you do. For example, take up a new hobby and if you’re not perfect at it, practice and work until you are better at it.
- Set Goals You Can Reach
Perfectionists often set goals that are not reachable and when they fail, they give up or they refuse to do something else. Set goals that are reachable and when you reach these goals you will be more confident in yourself.
- Allow for Criticism
Don’t be upset when someone criticizes you and don’t take it personally. If you work at a job and you get criticized for something you do, take this as healthy learning so that you can better yourself. Mistakes are normal in everyday life.
- Stop Pressuring Yourself
Stop putting so much pressure on yourself that you can’t even breathe. Learn to accept yourself and accept what you can and can’t do. Lower your standards and stop being unrealistic. There is nothing and no one that is perfect but doing your best is great!
- Be Your Best
Change the focus on what you do instead of trying to be perfect figure out how to do your best. Find joy in the things that you are doing and see what kind of purpose there is for you even doing it. You will find the things that you do more meaningful if you are doing your best and enjoying them.
- Don’t Put it Off
Don’t put things off even if you aren’t going to be perfect at it. Perfectionists often put things off or procrastinate because they are afraid that they can’t do something perfectly. You can create an outline of the things that you need to get done and do them. Even if you aren’t being perfect at what you do, give yourself grace and keep working until you get it done.
- Drop the Negative
Get rid of things in your life that focus on the negative. Stay off social media or television if you feel that it makes you want to be perfect. Social media often shows you perfect lives, but the truth is, no one lives a perfect life. Limit these things that you are putting in your mind and shift your mindset away from perfectionism.
- Get Help
There is nothing wrong with talking to a therapist or a counselor to get you help. This can be Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or other kinds of therapy that can help you to get past your perfectionism thoughts.
Therapy can help you to understand why you have the need to be perfect and what you can do to overcome these thoughts and feelings.