An uncertain situation does not always need an immediate yes or no. You may be able to gather information, ask for support or choose a small step while leaving some questions open.
These six approaches can help you consider the choice in front of you. Keep your safety, resources and responsibilities in view rather than treating every unfamiliar opportunity as something you must accept.
1. Define the decision you actually need to make
Write down the immediate choice, the real deadline and what will happen if you wait. A broad worry such as “What if everything goes wrong?” may hide a smaller question you can address.
Consider what you already know and what information is still missing. You might need a clearer description, a practical estimate or an answer from someone involved before deciding.
2. Separate a possible action from a hypothetical worry
The NHS guide to tackling worries suggests distinguishing problems you can act on from worries beyond your control. Ask whether there is a useful question, conversation or task available now.
If there is, choose when to do it. If there is not, you can acknowledge the uncertainty and turn to another part of the day rather than repeatedly trying to solve an unanswerable question.
3. Choose a manageable amount of practice or exploration
You might read an example, ask someone to explain a process, rehearse one part or try a limited first step. Pick an approach that lets you learn something without taking on more than you can reasonably manage.
You can also decline or postpone an opportunity. The fact that something feels challenging does not establish that it is suitable, safe or necessary for your growth.
4. Keep limits and support part of the plan
Consider the time, money, energy and assistance the choice would involve. Identify an adjustment or a boundary before you commit, such as a shorter task, a clear role or a chance to ask questions.
Where the decision involves a specialist issue, seek appropriate advice rather than expecting confidence alone to provide the answer. You do not have to manage every unfamiliar situation privately.
5. Review a mistake without turning it into a verdict
If something goes wrong, describe the specific result and any repair you can make. Ask what information was missing, what you would keep and what you would change next time.
You can feel upset and still learn from the experience. A mistake does not automatically make you stronger, and having an emotion does not mean you have failed to respond sensibly.
6. Choose whether to continue, adjust or stop
After trying a step, review whether it remains worthwhile and workable. Continuing is one option; so are changing the approach, seeking help, resting or deciding against the goal.
Look at what actually happened instead of requiring a confident feeling before every action. You can make a considered choice while acknowledging that an outcome remains uncertain.
One account of leading a workshop
It's been years now, but I remember it like it was yesterday. I leaned up against the scratchy brick wall outside the conference room. Butterflies danced in my stomach and were threatening to escape. All I could do was breathe. Deep breaths. In, out. In, out.
My supervisor signed me up to lead a workshop for other corporate professionals. She believed that I could do it, and I believed her. At first. My self-confidence disappeared within minutes.
And now, the day had come. It was time to go into that conference room and lead that workshop. My thoughts were in a jumble, as my fears took over the driver's seat. I reached out a trembling hand for the doorknob, and my breath caught in my throat.
Fast-forward two hours, to the end of the workshop. Guess what? I survived!
It was by no means an award-winning performance. I'm sure I blushed when I stumbled over my opening words. I dropped a note card at one point. And I'm sure I skipped a slide or two somewhere in the middle of my presentation.
But as far as I know, everyone was satisfied with the workshop. Some of them even told me so! I didn't die of embarrassment, and nobody stalked out in disgust halfway through.
As I packed up to leave the conference room, I was filled with new-found confidence. It felt like I was lifted right up to cloud nine! As I pondered what was going on, I realized that the experience had taught me some transformational lessons. Those lessons have shaped my life from that moment on.
Separate a decision from a prediction
Imagine you are unsure whether to apply for a role.
- Known: the advertised hours and requirements.
- Unknown: whether you will receive an offer.
- Action available now: compare the requirements with two examples of your work.
- Decision point: apply, ask one question or leave this vacancy aside.
For your own decision, make three columns: what I know, what I still need to ask, and what I can do next. Start with the last column.