Are you one of the people that need help in your marriage, but you aren’t sure how much you believe in marriage counseling? If you are someone that is looking for a solution in your marriage, you might first want to consider if you need counseling and then who you will see.
There are different things that can depend on how your counseling will end up and this can include things that are going on in your marriage.
Another thing that can determine if marriage counselling will work for you is how you are inside and if you are willing to accept the help that you need. Each couple is different and so is the counseling.
Why Do People Seek Marriage Counseling?
Couples will often seek marriage counseling because things in their marriage are not working out and they might be ready to get a divorce.
Some couples want to fix something that is going wrong in their marriage or to make their marriage better.
Here are some reasons why couples seek marriage counseling:
- Some seek counseling because they no longer trust their spouse. Something happened in the marriage that caused there to be problems with trust. This can include cheating or lying.
- Communication issues often cause marriages to fall apart. Sometime counseling can show people how to talk to each other without fighting.
- Changes in life such as a new job or moving can cause there to be problems in a marriage. Other things such as having a new baby or health problems can also cause a strain. Counseling can help people to be able to work through things and move the relationship forward.
- Some people want to get counseling because they are not able to work through things or because they feel disconnected. The counseling can help them to be more connected.
- Intimacy issues can play a role in problems in a marriage. People that are having a hard time with intimacy can get counseling to figure out why.
- When things are not right in the marriage or something feels weird, counseling can help them to reconnect.
Picking the Right Counselor
It is important that you find a counselor that is right for your problems. You need to find someone that is experienced and someone that will be confident with both partners. Everyone needs to feel that the counselor is on their side.
There has to be comfort in who you pick in order to work through your problems. Counselors should be chosen by finding out what your problems are and finding someone that can help you work through them.
Know what you are looking for and know the terms of marriage counseling before you make a choice.
Marriage counseling is therapy, and the person should have at least a master’s degree and be licensed. Not all counselors are the same and some are much more experienced.
There are also people that are trained in marriage therapy and these people will have a degree and state licensure and are considered specialists. These people have experience in marriage counseling.
Marriage counseling can help couples to work on their marriage and can help them to train and to work on making things better.
Whatever approach that your marriage counselor uses, know that the approach can be different and that different techniques can be used:
- Imago Relationship Therapy is a way that you can focus on your childhood experiences and how this has caused you to relate as an adult. This can mean that you have allowed your parents to influence the way that you act. This can help you to talk to your partner and teach you to listen.
- Gottman Method is a method that allows couples to work on their intimacy. This method works for long term people that want to make their marriage better.
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is a therapeutic way that focuses on how people think and what they learn about each other. This will help to identify problems in the relationship and build skills to allow the couples to communicate and to reach goals in their marriage.
- Discernment Therapy is the method of therapy that helps those that are going through divorce. This helps couples to consider what to do next in their marriage.
- Emotional Focused Therapy is a therapy that is short term and focuses on the emotions of the couple. This allows them to deal with their communication and to get negativity out of their lives.
Marriage counseling is not going to be a magical fix, and everyone has to work hard in the relationship to make things work. This is just a way where people can be honest and can be in a place where they can both talk and listen.
There are different things that can make marriage counseling successful such as:
- Timing marriage counseling before it is too late can help the marriage counseling work. If problems have been there for more than five years, it can be harder to fix.
- Couples must commit to the marriage counseling together even when things are hard. Both parties have to allow there to be fixes and this means working on problems.
- Each person must be honest if they want the counseling to work. This means no secrets and no holding back when the counselor is trying to help save the marriage.
- The relationship has to be built around client and therapist trust. The couple has to be comfortable with the therapist in order to be open.
There is nothing that will guarantee that marriage counseling will work, and each situation is different.
Counseling will depend on the couple’s and their desire to work things out. Couples who are not willing to commit to the counseling will see that it will not work nor will it go as expected.