Many people believe that someone that is emotionally intelligent has some kind of skills and that they can train themselves to be smarter and stronger.
Even though this is kind of true, the real thing is that if you want to improve your emotional intelligence, there are things that you want to do less of and not do more of things.
Some people feel that they don’t have a lot of emotional intelligence and they often show this by:
- Blaming people for all of their problems.
- They have too much stress and anxiety that they cannot get rid of.
- They ruin their progress as soon as it starts.
Most people do not lack being emotionally intelligent, most people have this intelligence already, the problem is that they let the bad habits that they have cause them to miss out on improving their life.
There are some problems that people have, and this is why they lack improving their emotional intelligence:
Critical
People often are critical of others and they do this because they are insecure, and they want to mask their problems. When we are critical, it is not always bad, but you have to be careful and figure out if what you are being critical about is helping anyone.
Being overly critical will become a habit and it can cause people to see you as closed minded and cause you to have a lack of self-esteem. Here are some good habits that you can do to help improve your life:
- When you call someone dumb, it means you are saying you are smart.
- When you criticize someone for being silly or naive, you just tell them that you are better than them.
- When you laugh about someone failing, it tells you that you think you re perfect and good.
Being helpful to people and being critical to help them is one thing but when you are being critical to make other people feel good then you have to know that you will only feel good for a time but later you will feel bad again.
People that are emotionally intelligent are aware how they are treating others and they do their best to be productive in dealing with their insecurities.
People are often more critical than they even realize, and they do this to feel better about themselves. When you can understand the energy, it takes to put others down, you can know that all of this energy that you are using can be used to make your life better.
Worry
When you worry about things such as the future, these are things that you cannot change. You have to live a good life and you have to make good decisions. This can help your future improve but life is uncertain, and you need to be motivated in the now to live a good life.
There is a difference in planning for the future and worrying about it. You can get rid of your fear and stop being worried about things all the time.
Here are some ways you can prepare for the future:
- Think about a problem but be productive about it.
- Plan some thing in life but know that the scenario might change.
Worrying about something makes you feel soft and fragile. People that are emotionally intelligent know that they can face reality and make good decisions without having to be stressed about it.
When you stop worrying, you will have more energy and strength in your life.
Looking at the Past
We all have a past, and we have all made mistakes. We have a world that we live in and we cannot be obsessed with the times that we have messed up.
People often get stuck in their past and in the mistakes that they have made, and they feel that they are failure because of what they have done.
When people think about their past and they feel that they are not in control of their life, they often make mistakes and keep regretting things over and over again. This causes them to feel out of control.
The mistakes that people make often make them feel that they have lost their power and instead of moving forward, they choose to stay stuck in their past.
You have to make a choice to move forward no matter what happens and to not feel helpless in your situation. Learn to do something good in the now and learn to accept your past. Do not let your past determine what happens in the future.
Expectations
Everyone wants to do things in life, but some people have unrealistic expectations. They use these things to guide themselves and others and they want to control people.
People that have unrealistic expectations will often see other people and wonder how they are able to grow and do so good in their life.
They sometimes want to control others and make things happen the way that they want them to. But in order to have a good life, you have to put away unrealistic expectations and learn to set your standards at a place where you can reach instead of being disappointed in yourself.
How do you deal with disappointment? You can do this by making sure that you are in control of your life and your goals.
You care about what other people do in your life and you want them to have the best life and you need to make sure that you do the same for you.
You cannot be in control of other people to feel better, but you can learn to be in control and to live a happy life.
If you want to let go of unrealistic expectations, here are some ways to do that:
- Know that everyone has struggles.
- Understand that struggles equal success.
- Set boundaries in your life instead of wanting to be perfect in all things.
- Meet people where they are and don’t expect them to be something they aren’t.
You need to let go of unrealistic expectations and move forward in life.
Conclusion
If you want to have more emotional intelligence, you need to figure out what kind of bad habits are causing you from reaching your goals and getting you to the place that you want to be. By doing this, you can figure out how to have more emotional intelligence and how to move forward in your life.