Falling in love is a natural thing. However, some people tend to fall in love with love. These people are in for a lot of heartaches without ever truly finding their soulmate.
If this is you, you could benefit from a step back from your emotions and some clear thinking about your romantic situation. Romance is a balance of emotion and logic, and although that doesn’t sound romantic, it is the best course for finding someone that could be a lifelong love.
Here are five ways to curtail your decision making and stop falling in love so quickly:
- Quit trying to fulfill yourself with love.
Many people who are on the quest for love are doing so because they see love as a way to meet all their needs. Frankly, love can’t meet all your needs and the idea of someone else “completing you,” although romantic, is ridiculous. You are already complete, or at least you could be if you seek out things that make you happy.
You need to ask yourself why you want to love so badly. This needs to be analyzed because your motives could be playing a role in creating unsuccessful relationships.
Along with that, you need to learn to recognize emotions. Sometimes, what people think is love is just lust or infatuation.
- Think about the possibility logically.
Most people who fall in love too easily are emotionally-based. That means they are following up their emotions with actions against any form of better judgment.
To counteract that, think about the possibility of a relationship with the new person of interest logically. First, are they available? Second, are they the kind of person who would be good for you? Are they of good character? What do they value the most? How do they treat others?
Answering these questions honestly could keep you from choosing unwisely. Some people project goodness on people they are infatuated with to feel okay about falling in love. This is the wrong way to go about it.
You need to seriously consider their flaws. To do that, step back from the situation and watch them objectively. Once you see they are human and have flaws, it will be easier to avoid falling for them.
- Keep your lifestyle and let them keep theirs.
Some people uproot everything about their lives when they fall in love. It is all about becoming someone the person of interest would love back. That is wrong.
First, it disrupts your life and your other relationships. That puts your friends and family, those who love you, on a roller coaster ride of unappreciation and drama.
Keep the same routine with your friends and family. Keep them close. Keep your hobbies and continue with any plans you have for furthering your education and career.
Let the other person do the same. Don’t ask them for any major changes.
- Don’t get physical.
Physical touch is very overwhelming and can produce a host of feelings you aren’t ready to handle. Save that for the person you are considering spending a life with rather than someone who is here for the moment. If you aren’t sure which category this new flame falls into, wait.
- Distance yourself.
Distance yourself physically, emotionally and mentally. That means you do not spend all your time with them. If you see them at work, try to move or work in a different section if possible or ignore them. Don’t seek out ways to communicate with them. Don’t keep up with them on social media or communicate with them that way.
Keep a check on your emotions and do other things that make you happy. Take your mind off the person by distracting yourself with friends, hobbies, or any online class.
These are all ways you can maintain your independence too. Keeping your independence is a great way to keep a check on your emotions and stop yourself from heartbreak. Heartbreak worsens when you start depending on the other person to fulfill a need. It hurts when that isn’t met or is taken away.
Learning to deal with your emotions is key in stopping yourself from falling in love too easily. Emotions can be like wildfire in that they are hard to extinguish once they start burning. Implementing some of these other strategies will help you maintain your emotions and balance them with good, old-fashioned common sense and objectivity. That will help you make a great decision on lifelong love when you are ready.