What are you willing to do or change to be happy? Each and every day we are sold happiness in different forms. It could be a book, pill, or certain vacation spot. Still the underlying theme is the same, someone else has what can bring happiness and you can buy it. The problem is that no one knows exactly what happiness is, but we do know that the harder we try to be happy, the less likely it is to actually happen for us. Sometimes, the best option is to stop trying’ to be happy and simply enjoy life by going outside your comfort zone. Even if we try this and happiness never comes, we have had a fun life. The truth is, when we stop searching for happiness, it often comes more easily.
Those who are less than happy tend to have a problem with their pattern of attention. Think of it this way. A social person looks for ways to be social to be happy, an entrepreneur seeks out opportunities for business, and an unhappy person looks for happiness. However, if you stop focusing so directly on the idea of happiness and instead focus on opportunities, then you will likely find happiness as well. This article explores ways to stop the intense focus on happiness.
Remove the Word Happy
Words are obviously used to communicate ideas, but when a word is overused it can become stifling, confusing, and sometimes dangerous. Instead of using the word happy, try filling in the question with one of the words below. Do I have ——- in my life? Fill in the blank with words like enjoyment, laughter, contentment, peace of mind, well-being, and the such.
Live in the Present
The best way to live in the present is to let go of all your past regrets and the future anxieties. This is far from easy, but helps us to live a full, enjoyment filled life. Each moment has a unique role in our life’s narrative, so be in the here and now.
Decide What You Want
Some searching for happiness end up with something we can call ‘shiny object syndrome’. This happens when people bounce back and forth between goals, but never really accomplish anything. This is usually because they are trying to find something to end the suffering they feel. This can be stopped when we know what we really want. This is important because only then can we develop focus and purpose. This will take up so much time, you will not have time to focus on happiness. It may turn out that happiness is not really what you wanted after all.
Let Go of the Unrealistic
The idea of being happy all the time is a new concept for the most part because historically, lives have been pretty tough. While we need to strive to lead life to the fullest, it is normal to be average with just a few periods that are truly joyfully.
If you have decided what you want and are certain it will make you happy then set daily steps that will get you to that goal. These need to be small, realistic steps so you feel you are moving forward and on track.
One common quality of those who are unhappy is that they are self-centered. This does not make them bad people, but it means they do focus on self the majority of the time. There are many studies to show that giving is better than receiving, so serving others can break this unhappiness cycle.
Happiness is Not the Same as Achievement
There is a difference in being happy and achieving something. We can feel content because we have an inherent sense of worthiness. While reaching our set goals can build on this feeling and offer a sense of accomplishment, the absence of achievements should not remove all happiness.
Not Always Positive
There are many people that will focus on positivity. While positivity is great when you are feeling positive, forcing it does little good.
Remove the Negative
If something in your life is keeping you down, like a toxic relationship or horrible job, let these things go. Only then can you seek out happiness. Otherwise, you will always feel held back.
Okay with Okay
We have been conditioned to feel a need that we must have everything and it must be good. Learning to be okay with okay will actually help increase happiness because we are not so focused on making things better.
Step Outside the Comfort Zone
When you take the chance to move outside your comfort zone, it can be great for your self-worth. It also pumps endorphins and adrenaline into your system. When you start feeling anxious before trying something, then you are outside the comfort zone. This can be tough, but it is beneficial long-term. After stepping out, you will be relieved and feel increased self-worth. Try things like travelling, meditating, or just meeting new people.
Being tense in the muscles can trap serotonin in the body and create imbalances. Caring or your body is the best way to experience joy, so treat it carefully.
Mindfulness and meditation have both physical and psychological benefits. However, when first starting out practicing meditation, it can seem like it does not make a difference. The key is to keep at it each day. Though it can seem bland or boring, it really is effective when you are committed.
Meet New People
Getting out and meeting new people who are positive can give you an energy that kickstarts your life and keeps you focused presently. We are social creatures by nature and having positive people in our lives can be impactful in the right ways. Look for people with similar interests and ambitions that are local or visit retreats to meet like minded people.
Many of our worries and concerns are tied to our environment. Annoyance may carry through the day if there is construction noise outside your home or a random commercial could cause you to think of lost love. This is why nature can be so helpful. When in nature, we can unplug and relax.
Be Honest with Yourself
Discontent can arise from cognitive dissonance which is the psychological way of saying you hold two conflicting ideas or emotions in your own mind. This can be reduced by admitting, accepting, and experiencing the emotions that you need to go through before they become toxic.
We like to think we have total control when it comes to feelings and emotions, but the momentum we have is a factor. Morning routines are considered a keystone habit of successful people. So, start your day with a spiritual and physical practice, followed by a healthy breakfast and over the years it can make a positive difference in your overall well-being.
Each of us can learn to let go of the need to chasse down happiness in life. It will do us all good to do so and it can be fun to start the journey.